The Fake IPL Player Is…

Me. There, I said it.

Will you bastards please let me put my ads back up now? Whats the earthly point of getting thousands of hits if I can’t get paid for it? All of you who criticize me for going commercial and all are hypocrits. You’d do it if you got it. Its not as if you’re going to stop coming if I put the ads up. Hell, who even knows if you’ll click on any of them. You should, because I provide the entertainment you so desire.

Until then I’ll have to live off the paltry amount I make as a sports journalist in South Africa covering the IPL…

What… you were expecting a player? An Indian player? Do you know how long its taken for them cricketers to get pay checks this big? You think they’d throw it all away for a one month long blog? Not to mention hardly any of them has had the kind of education or apprenticeship I had to sweat through to develop these creative writing skills.

You think thats easy? And its not as if any of them can honestly speak the language and if you’ve heard them try to sledge then you’ll know they’re incapable of doing anything other than “talk about girls because beauty has to be appreciated” when they’re not drunk.

And a big thanks to all my fellow journo buddies for all the initial word-of-mouth and publicity gimmicks. That last one was the absolute best, I got so many hits I almost broke blogger! If these mofos let me put up ads, the drinks are on me as soon as I get back.

Oh yeah, and to my “fans”… don’t worry about me getting “caught.” People in the media just don’t. You think there would be a scandal if a cricket was caught for writing a dirty blog, you just watch the fun when a journalist is sued by bollywood stars and cricketers. We don’t take too kindly to that in our hippie club. Besides, satire and parody are free speech. And I’ve got a disclaimer! Like in all the books. Notice how cleverly I’ve never named anyone… how many cricketers do you know who can do that.

Sorry for spoiling the fun. Just let me get my ads up, ok… and click on them… I promise you’ll get more “inside scoops.”

Disclaimer: Achettup is not the “FAKE IPL PLAYER.” Nor is he a journalist and he has never undertaken an education and/or training that would prepare him to be one. He does play a bit of cricket though. Not fake cricket either.