All Muslim Norwegian Team Loses Again

Norway’s policy of fielding a Muslim-only cricket team came back to haunt them when the team suffered an embarrassing defeat at the hands of a multicultural Malaysian team. Experts have increasingly warned that teams consisting solely of a single ethnicity have a greater tendency to lose sports played at “global” levels. The issue was rankled up again when an all white Australian cricket team lost to an English side for the second successive series outside the warm, immigrant-friendly atmosphere of Australia, after they dropped the only black man in Australia (Again!) on the eve of the series. The player had allegedly drunk some beer – Australian are touchy about this subject because of unsubstantiated claims that in the past they deliberately introduced alcohol to the indigenous population.

Indeed sides that have seen rapid strides in the ICC rankings have managed to include at the very least a single player whose ethnicity is different from the rest of the squad. England, who are seriously considering renaming their board to The England, Wales and Kolpak Cricket Board, stormed through the rankings after their dull and incredibly boring victory over an under performing Australian side. South Africa, a team that mandates having different quotas of ethnic mixing within their team, are unsurprisingly at the top of the rankings. Sri Lanka have managed to include players of Sinhalese and Tamil backgrounds and have seen a giant leap to second in the standings.

Noted Australian bloggers have defended their team’s selection policy and attempted to back it up with “logical” arguments. Criticism of the Norwegian team though, has been muted after a journalist was recently forced to pay damages when he dared to raise the ethnic question by posting a jolly ol SMS from a friend on his website solely for the purpose of NOT attracting more webby hits. There are rumours though, that within underground Australian press circles, the Norwegian team is popularly referred to “Isn’t it good, Al Qaeda wood”, a rather dour version of a popular Beatles number. Short of a Length has not been able to confirm the validity of these rumors and urges readers not to take such claims seriously.

This post is dedicated to the genius of cyclops Conn.